Some Thoughts on Self Love

Do you love yourself? Do you honestly, really, truly, wholeheartedly love yourself?

I was asked this question along with about eighty others in a church meeting in Queens, New York City about a year ago. I don't know if it had to do with me translating this talk from Chinese to English for the tourist sitting next to me, but the question: "Do you really love yourself?" has stuck with me since that time.

Do you love yourself? Do you love yourself enough to do the things that are best for yourself - even if it may cause temporary pain, sacrifice, and confusion? Do you love yourself enough to keep the commandments of God at all costs? Do you love yourself enough to get enough sleep, to eat healthily, and laugh readily? Do you love yourself enough to never put others down? Do you love yourself enough to never put yourself down?

Learning to love yourself is a process - an uncomfortable one.

I've found you must take a step back (or sometimes three or four steps back) and honestly assess your life. Where are you right now? Where do you want to be? What is it going to take to get there? Am I willing to sacrifice for it?

I believe some of the times I have felt most loved by God are when I have been chastised by Him. He shows me my shortcomings and my weaknesses in full color, but also provides me a way to overcome and improve. At those times I know with 100% surety that God loves me.

The same thing has applied throughout my life with my close friends and family. When a friend or family member corrects me, it shows me that they truly care about me and my decisions. This same principle can be applied to ourselves. Do I love myself enough to push myself? Do I love myself enough to be vulnerable, to be scared and uncertain, and to make decisions based on not what I want but what I need? Do I love myself enough to laugh at my own jokes, put others first, and express love for others freely?

Loving yourself results in loving others, too. It's a natural consequence of pure love - you can't help but love the person in front of you as much as you love yourself.

I don't believe this process comes from standing in front of a mirror and saying, "I am beautiful I am smart I am important" x amount of times for x amount of days. I believe self love is beyond self image and self esteem. I believe self love is not so much learning to accept your body type or personality quirks as it is more about learning to accept your true identity as a daughter of an Almighty Being and what that actually means. 

As uncomfortable as it is - as uncomfortable as it has been - I am so grateful for my ups and downs when it has come to my self-image and self-worth and self-assessment. I believe that we are all given crosses to bear, and "loving myself" seems to be a cross I've had to learn to hold up high. But as we reach beyond ourselves and beyond our problems and insecurities and frustrations and setbacks and beyond me me me me... we find ourselves. I found myself in New York. I found myself in Him who created me. And as I grow to love myself, I love Him more completely.