I'm waiting for my mission call.
Waiting is the key word here. I was expecting it to come by Friday, and unfortunately, it didn't. Having wanted to serve an LDS Mission nearly my entire life, I anticipated this wait of my mission call to feel differently. I expected a rush of excitement, eagerness, nervousness, pacing, wondering, nail-biting and the likes. And truthfully, it has been different from what I thought it would be. It has been different in comparison to how my friends have acted while waiting for their mission calls. I feel fine. When it comes it comes -- where I go I'll go.
Though I feel this way now, when I left my stake president's office for the final interview a few weeks ago I was left in a state of confusion and self-doubt. I called my parents with tears and worries.
Am I ready to serve the Lord? Am I able? Am I worthy to be a witness of God and to testify to anyone who will listen that Jesus is the Christ?
The answer is no. Will I ever be ready? Able? Worthy? No. At least not alone. Thankfully for me, and for everyone else in the world, there are two names on the missionary name tag.
Like I mentioned before, I had expected my call to come yesterday. I drove down from college and had invited friends and family over for the big reveal. My empty mailbox seemed to mock me as I checked it periodically throughout the day. After feeling sorry for myself for a little bit, I took a trip to the temple. I often forget how lucky I am to live in a place where there are six temples within thirty minutes away from me.
Oh, what a wonderful place the temple is! And honestly, it was exactly where I needed to be right then. I opened up the Book of Mormon in the waiting room and was moved by how absolutely beautiful and true the Gospel is. I was reminded of why I am going to serve a mission - to bring others to know of this great truth! To get doors slammed in my face, to be ignored, and to see the light in people's eyes when the finally understand what has been missing from their lives.
I know that this Church is true. I know that Jesus is the Christ and was sent to earth to atone for the sins of the world so that we might be able to live with Him and God the Father again. I know the Book of Mormon to be a just and true book. I know that Christ visited the Americas and that this is important because we know He loves and cares for all of His children. I know the Lord takes care of His sheep. I know that Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon, and that our church is led today by modern revelation from a true prophet and his apostles. I know that we have the fullness of the True Gospel and are the only true church on this earth! Oh, what a blessing it is to have that knowledge. What a blessing it is that we have a Father in Heaven who loves us eternally.Who loves you eternally. Who loves me eternally.
Am I readyableworthy to serve the Lord? No, of course not. But I know that He will mercifully forgive my shortcomings. And through Him my weaknesses will be made strong. And that this will be worth the wait.
