Life is made up of disappointment, right? Wrong. At least in my bubble of a world, disappointment is hard to come by. And so when lightning strikes, the impact is that much worse.
Whiiiiiiiiich is why these past few weeks have weighed down my heart just a few notches.
Let me explain how I am and how I see people. In Fig. 1, you can see the obvious problem. Some call it a curse, others may call it a blessing. I don't know what I call it. Whenever I meet someone, ("hi how are you? I'm kimber. I like naked mole rats.") I instantly take a liking to them. I assume they have my best interest at heart, choosing the right at all times possible, and do their best to make the world and community a better place. Think I'm exaggerating, don't you? Again, please refer to Fig. 1 below.
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| Figure 1 |
What I find odd is this: people are who you tell them they are. And I believe this to be 95% true (there's always those people who shock you). Most of the time I think people act differently around me than they do around others. Or maybe the "good" in them is the only part I look for, so it's the only part of that person I see.
In other words, I expect out of people is what I see. My expectations of others is what lets me down in the end. And so in Kimberland, I am hardly ever disappointed because the only one who could ever disappoint me is myself. I'm setting myself up for disappointment!
And so then sooner or later I am told about a fault of a few of my perfect friends. ("No of course, it's not true. They would never do that.") But then they did and then it's true and then my heart drops down to the bottom of my stomach. Really though, it's not their fault. I can't waste away my days lecturing them and crying over them and playing sad songs on my ukulele in memory of who I thought they were, Because it was ME who disappointed ME.
And then you're like, what can you do from here.
I had no idea you had this blog. It's great! I love your figure 1 drawing. Hahaha.
ReplyDeleteI actually have the opposite problem of you. I dislike almost every new person I meet. Isn't that awful? It really is a problem. I tend to see the worst in people, and then as time goes on I see how great they actually are, and we become friends. I'd much rather have your problem! It's probably my way of trying to avoid disappointment and hurt down the road.
Your positivity is inspiring! And I love the way you write. I'll be following your blog now. :)